They say that Life is a Highway. And who doesn’t love a good road trip? It’s just you, some yummy snacks, a killer playlist and the wide-open road.
But as anyone who has ever had the brilliant idea to “just drive to Disney” can tell you, it can quickly spiral from an exciting adventure into the Highway to Hell! And sometimes the same can be said for our journeys in life.
When I set out on the path to becoming a published writer, I had no idea that the road would be such a long and winding one. Or that eight years later I still wouldn’t be at my final destination. And with every passing year my disappointment and embarrassment grew until I was left with just one question; where did I go wrong? They say it’s hard to move forward if you’re constantly stuck in reverse but sometimes the only way to fix your mistakes is to glance in the rearview mirror.
Most long, treacherous journeys are riddled with missteps and mistakes (just ask Samwise and Frodo) and mine proved to be no different.
- First, I spent entirely too long studying the map. Meticulously searching for the best path and plotting the perfect route instead of just burning rubber. After all, another author’s worst book is still better than my unfinished manuscript.
- I allowed myself to get distracted by the pretty lights. *Oooh, so shiny! Wait, what were we talking about?* Distractions abound on the road to publishing (I’m looking at you Tik Tok) and I allowed them to diminish my focus.
- There were too many stops and starts. I parked at too many rest stops and missed too many opportunities. Eventually, it all adds up.
- This is a big one. I focused on how long the trip would take rather than getting lost in the ride. In the word’s of Rihanna sometimes you just gotta, Shut Up and Drive.
- I hit a lot of traffic and had to take a couple of unexpected detours. In the beginning, it was all flat land and then I hit hill after hill after…you get the picture. And the longer the journey took the more I started to wonder…am I ever going to get there?
- And then I encountered the biggest, most destructive roadblock of them all…self doubt. The external obstacles are tough but ooo wee those internal battles can set you back a lifetime if you let them. Suddenly those aforementioned hills transformed into steep, towering, snow-capped mountains. Next thing you know I’m barefoot and jacketless wandering aimlessly across a craggy cliff. And then boom…rock slide! Everything begins to fall apart and crumble just like this metaphor that I’ve perhaps taken just a bit too far.
The point is self-doubt can be soul-crushing. With practice, you can tune out the noise from the outside world but when all the mudslinging takes place inside your own head…well you end up muddy, that’s for one. And bogged down. And lost.
And that’s exactly what happened to me. I second guessed every word I wrote until I eventually gave up on writing altogether. I even stopped reading! It was too painful to read other peoples words knowing I wasn’t writing my own. I beat myself down so low that I no longer felt I had the right to call myself a writer. Even though it was what I loved to do. And I had been doing it as long as I could remember. I felt like a failure. And that caused me to keep on failing. I stifled my own flame until my light nearly dimmed. Now I’ll be honest, I’ve only just began taking steps to wash off all that toxic, self-imposed negativity. And I won’t pretend to have all the knowledge and insight on how best to do it. But one thing that has helped me is recognizing one undeniable fact.
There is only one you.
Like literally, unless you’re an identical twin (and there is research suggesting that even some identical twins may have multiple genetic differences that likely stemmed from early development) you are the only you that exists. And that, my friend, makes you unique. You have something to offer that no one else possibly could.
It’s you!
Now I know what you’re probably thinking…but what’s so special about me? And I get it. I’ve never truly excelled at anything. Not sports. Not school. Not the arts. Most of my life I’ve felt pretty average or downright mediocre. Sure I have my strengths but there has always been someone better, smarter, stronger (there are literally African ants with more upper body strength than me) or more beautiful.
But you know one thing I can do better than anyone else? Tell my story. Share my ideas. And isn’t that what writing is all about? Sharing stories and ideas that connect with people. There will always be better writers or more skillful storytellers. But none of them have my zany personality, my sarcastic sense of humor and my personal outlook on the world. This voice is mine and mine alone. And I can use it to shine a light on a different story, viewpoint, or way of life. But it doesn’t have to be some exoctic nouveau or an elaborately sophisticated idea. Some of the greatest stories are about the mundane and they resonate because we all seek adventure, humor and love.
First, I had to recognize that I do have value.
Then I had to declare that worth. I had to say aloud, “I am capable!”
Now here come’s the really hard part…I had to learn to believe it. To believe that I was worthwhile. That I have something to offer. Then, I had to stand tall in that truth.
Look, I write because I love spinning stories from the colorful threads of my mind. It’s like having my very own magical wand. I can concoct something enchanting and powerful with nothing more than a pen and paper. And my laptop, some background music, snacks, my water bottle, a candle…I think you catch my drift. And for a while back there on those cold, lonely roads I forgot why I was traveling to begin with. For me!
What about you? What’s one thing you can do this week to push yourself closer to where you wanna be? Okay, now go do it. Literally, right now if you can. Even if it’s the tiniest thing. Wake up early. Call a friend. Eat a healthy meal. Dust off that old jalopy, hop inside and turn on the ignition. No gas? No problem! Keep taking slow, steady old lady steps toward who you want to be and you will find yourself much further along three months down the road.
For me, it’s writing this blog. And if not a single soul reads my absurd and kooky musings but myself and my family (whom I force it upon with threats of withholding meals) I’m okay with that. You know why? Because it brings me joy. And it puts me one step closer to my destination. And though I would love to interact with an audience I will continue to do what I love for an audience of One. Perhaps one day I’ll have an audience of many but if that never happens, I’ll still be okay.
Scratch that, I’ll be okay I’ll be fulfilled.
For now, I’m back on that long, bumpy road. But with a new purpose and renewed passion. I’m thankful for where I’ve been and now I know exactly where I’m going.
Pedal to the metal, folks. Happy Reading, Writing and Everything in Between.
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